The ups:
It’s been a while since I’ve written about the progress of my 30-day fruit&nut challenge.
Originally, I thought Christmas would be the worst time in the challenge period due to all the food going around. And even though I had been occupied with the preparations for the Christmas dinner at my girlfriend’s parents I actually made it through perfectly!

I had brought a bag of nuts and some banana’s from home and I knew that there was always some other fruits lying around in the house I was going to. And indeed, I was fine; I drank fruit-smoothies and ate fruit for breakfast, followed by fruits & nuts (that I brought) for lunch. Not a single problem except for the fact I had to explain my “curious new habit” to the family and friends that were gathered that. But they took it okay and we’re pretty supportive on top of that.

The mids:
So the worst part was behind me, or so I thought. But then it turned out that we had tons of stuff to prepare for my girlfriend’s move to Brussels on December 31^st. And instead of what I had planned, she preferred to stay longer at her parents’ house to pack and sort everything out.
I didn’t prepare for more days, so I actually didn’t bring enough nuts to eat the next day. Luckily there was enough fruit in the house, so I took that instead to try and stick to the “diet” as much as I could. It’s safe to say it went pretty much downhill from here.
We were running from one place to another to arrange things, not taking the time to shop decently. So we just ate either what we still had left in the house (which was bread & fruit-juice for breakfast), or whatever her parents had when we were there. December 31^st was the day of the move as well as new-years’ eve! And again from early morning we were on the move. I did manage to get some bananas and mandarins for the road, but that was pretty much it. And at the end of the day we came back to her parents again to celebrate the new year with them…. Exhausted..

The downs:
And boy was I exhausted. I guess I really pushed myself to hard the days before. Three nights of really poor sleep due to the cold, working hard during the day and dealing with the obvious “stress” of my girl moving to a “strange” city abroad. Either way, after the move was completed and we had entered the new year all this kind of “fell off my shoulders” so to speak. I didn’t have to carry it anymore, I didn’t have to keep pushing myself because the “mission” was accomplished.
Off course there were the usual family affairs like visiting grandmothers and my uncle who’s birthday is on January 1^st (which is actually our annual family-new year’s-celebration).

The waaaay downs:
And yes, I guess I did push myself too far. I was already blowing my nose a lot and feeling extremely tired while visiting family. But the next day I really fell ill while I was escorting my girlfriend home to Brussels. I wanted to stay with her the first night in her new home in the new city so she’d feel comfortable before starting work the next week. It turned out I had to spend some more nights there then expected
And when I finally got home I spent 3 days inside, mostly tied to my bed. Resting, sneezing and resting some more. And indeed, there wasn’t a lot of eating involved during those days. So I guess those were indeed the “waaaay downs” of this process. I was without fruits or nuts and was too ill to go out and get some more. One could say it wasn’t the best start of the new year….

The getting-back-up-there’s:
Now don’t think I’m going to sign off with a negative note, haha!
No you guys, I’m pretty much back to health and actually even more committed to eating healthy. Even though I haven’t been able to get a hold of nuts and fruits at the times I set myself as goals I did notice something else in my behavior. Over the past two weeks my relationship with fruits changed quite a bit from something you eat as a supplement to your normal food and/or snacks to food itself. Whenever I’m hungry and I walk into a store or a small kiosk I find myself looking at fruits instead of heading directly for the chocolate- or greasy stuff section.
As I have described in earlier articles I have really noticed the positive effect of eating fruits (in the morning) on my energy levels, and I liked it. As such, I’m feeling I’m really making a change in habits by reaching for healthy “alternatives” without consciously having to make myself do it. I’m doing it by default which I think is great!

As I’m writing this I’m riding the train on my way back from Belgium where I had a great meeting with Daan Buckinx. We spent a great afternoon together discussing so much different things and probably tons more for next times! I’m going drop by the store on my way home and stock up again so I can pick up where I left off.

Until next post… Enjoy life, and share that joy with others!

Related posts:
[Day 3]: "No, you can't have that"
[Day 2]: Saying no to habits and temptations
[Day 1] Kicking off the challenge
New 30 day challenge coming up

"Hey mate, are you up for a game of pool this saturday?"...
"Do you want to come shopping with me Dear?"...
"Can you get me that image for our new marketing campain today?"...

a) Yes
b) No
c) Maybe

How often do you find yourself picking "c" these days? Just because you're not sure what you want? Or perhaps you actually don't want to do something, but rather avoid a painful situation? A well-place " maybe"  usually buys you some extra time in those situations.
But that's actually all it does, it postpones the question. It will come back for you.... if you're lucky.

What do you mean, "If you're lucky"?!?

Did you ever stop to think what your maybe could mean to the one asking the question? Just to clear; I don't mean just the exact word "maybe" but any term that resembles this. Like "I'll try" or "If I have time". Or the worst one... "Probably". All of them have a degree of uncertainty in it that provide you with the possibility to pull out, you didn't promise anything right?! Or did you? To you, it might sound like a "get-out-of-jail-free-card". You didn't promise right?! There's no commitment to keep so you're home free without acting like an ass. (at least, you think so)

Let's take a look on the other side shall we? Whoever is asking you something would like you to be somewhere, or needs your help by doing something for them. What good does a "maybe" do them? You may think that just saying "No" is a horrible thing to do because it makes you look like a selfish person who doesn't care. But ask yourself this; Is a definite no really worse then keeping the other person in uncertainty?
In the best of circumstances the person asking you is not expecting you to say yes. But since you didn't give them a definite "No" they will consider the opening for a "Yes". And now you are making them wait in expectation for you, for what?
They asked you because they wanted YOU to come somewhere with them, or do something, not someone else. So as long as you do not answer them, they won't go to someone else and ask them. Regardless if your final answer is Yes or No you are putting the other person in an uncomfortable position. Either they start worrying for no reason because you might say no, or they will have less time left to arrange an alternative.

So next time someone asks you something, be clear about what you mean. Clear on either what you want, feel or just that you don't know because of external circumstances. If the last is the case, be sure to agree on a time for you to tell them your final decision. At least then they know what to expect and enable to them to reserve time for a contingency plan if needed.

The worst thing is not telling someone "no", it's not telling them the "no" you actually mean.
Or from a different perspective, as Paulo Coelho phrased it: "To say “no” is painful, but much better than a “yes” that brings regrets."