Living life can be tough at times, we’ve all been there at a certain time. Sometimes it’s a little setback, other times it just seems like you’re fighting an up-hill battle. You’ve got tons of things to keep in mind and take care of in order to make your life run smoothly. And let’s be honest, we always get through the tough times and navigate our way back into calmer waters. And this is just your life, one life. Imagine how tough it would be if you’d be living two lives!?

You might say: “Two lives, that’s rediculous. Nobody does that”. But actually you may pretty well be doing so without even noticing it anymore.

Multiple lives?

You know how people always tell you to “just be yourself”? Do we even know what “being yourself” means to begin with? Some us play so many roles that it’s easy to get lost in realising who you really are. You can behave one way around your highschool buddies and behave another way around they people working with you at the office. You can act like father or a child, a friend or a lover. It’s easy to let these roles drift apart and having them develop into lives of their own. The roles you play in life start turning into different personalities of you that are no longer compatible with the others. (Imagine mixing a night with your college buddies and your collegues; you’re used to act in two completely different ways)

The birthday dillema

I remember a couple of years ago I wanted to celebrate my birthday. At the time I had several groups of friends that were just “different” from one-another. I got along great with all of ‘m, a part of me felt comfortable with each of the groups but putting them together in one room wouldn’t be the best idea. So, in order to celebrate with all of them I ended up celebrating my birthday 4 times that year, three nights with different groups of friends and one day with my family. In retrospect, it was rediculous! I liked all these people yet I wasn’t showing each of them the complete picture of me, I was just showing them one side of me.

Putting your personal puzzle back together

The birthday-issue was a real eye-opener for me at the time. I realised how much time, energy and even money I was putting into playing these different roles. I was trying to juggle the different pieces of me instead of putting together the pieces and “being” them as a collective. Using a metaphore: “A completed jigsaw puzzle is much nicer to look at then a heap of its pieces”.  So why not show people the pieces after you put them together, the complete you. Even though it will take a bit of courage to show them something you fear may put them off, they payoff will be much greater. You can focus your energy on living just one life instead of splitting it. Focus all that power into the one life and prepare for some amazing things to happen to you, enjoying your reclaimed freedom to express yourself as you are.

Now go out, complete your puzzle and focus your power to enhance your life!
(And follow me on Twitter)

I expect this to be the most ironic article I’ll be posting for a long time to come. I’ve been thinking about doing an article about procrastination for quite a while. But for all sorts of reasons I made up, I kept putting it off… and off…  and.. well, you get the idea.

So, procrastination… We’ve all encountered it at a certain point in time. But what does it really mean? Webster defines it as “to put off intentionally and habitually“.
Not only does this definition suggest that procrastination is done “intentionally”, but also “habitually”. The thing here is that once something becomes a habit, there’s not so much thought involved anymore in the process of doing it. You do things a certain way because you always do. As with other habits like smoking, drinking, gambling, etc… these can prove hard to get rid of.

Beware of your thoughts, they become your words.
Beware of your words, they become your actions.
Beware of your actions, they become your habits.
Beware of your habits, they become your character.
Beware of your character, it becomes your destiny.
- Unknown
 

If procrastinating is your habit, what would your destiny look like?
(Or… would you even have one if you just keep “putting it off”?!)

But no worries! I imagine that since you are reading this, you are already aware that any procrastination habits you may have are not helping you. Even though you once thought it was a “relaxing” and “hang loose” kind of lifestyle in the end you got frustrated with accomplishing very little.
I guess the trigger for most people to become bored with their procrastination habit is the fact that they start to develop new thoughts and interests which start to develop into ambition and maybe even lead up to a passion for something. Once you have a vision of something that would be great to do(or experience) and realize that you actually could make this a reality things start cooking. So you have a vision as well as the belief you could make that vision become a reality. But then one of the most common human reactions kick in,… Fear.

Yes, you read it correctly, F-E-A-R.

All sorts of doubt start creeping into your mind, originating from the fact that you are about to do something you are not yet familiar with. You know you want to, and you could do it, but “what if…” Those two words are actually the problem that feeds your procrastination.
You put off things till later because can’t predict the exact outcome of your actions. Off course this is natural, since you are at least partially unfamiliar with your new venture. And because you can not predict the outcome you feel insecure about it.
Although there are tons of fears that could be underlying your procrastination, by far the most common is the Fear of Failure. We don’t like to fail because it makes us think we are “failures”. And if we’re failures, our friends and family will look down on us making us feel even worse!

STOP…. right there!
This is where we break the cycle.

• The self-sabotage started the moment you started seeing the chance of failure as a certainty of failure! Did you think about the fact that, where there’s a chance of failure, there is also a chance of success? And how awesome would you feel if you started seeing every chance of success as a certainty of success? That’s quite a different way to look at it, isn’t it?
• Secondly, the assumption that if you fail, you are a failure. This is also fundamentally wrong, and you can prove it to yourself quickly and easily. Remember the last time you failed at something, and then remember what you learned from that experience. Are you going to make the same mistake again? No! You can even help other people by teaching them about your experiences. See where I’m going with this? Having failed that time did not turn you into a failure, it actually gave you a valuable experience for life and turned you into a teacher for others!
• Finally, your friends and family will supposedly think you are a failure. Just read that sentence again and realize how weird that sounds. These are the people closest to you, that love & respect you either way. No failed try at something is going to change that. And what’s more, they will probably look up to you! Not for failing at something, but for taking that chance of success!

So don’t be afraid, don’t put things off till later that you could be doing now. Realize that the real chance of success is in front of your nose and you only have to reach out and grab it.

I’d like to close with a quote from “KB” (Twitter) / (website)
Instead of thinking  ”what could go wrong”, I prefer “how good can it get”!